The Laws of Meetings

  1. They who schedule many meetings have obscenely little of value to do. They who enjoy meetings have nothing of value to do.
  2. When you feel you have to schedule a meeting, you have already failed. Go into it with this knowledge, and atone.
  3. If you schedule a meeting to accomplish anything that could have been done with free project software or otherwise accomplished online, you have failed doubly.
  4. Capacity for productive work falls exponentially during a meeting, but only increases logarithmically afterwards.
  5. If you have called the meeting and speak more than all others attending combined, it is not a meeting.
  6. It is okay to go to a meeting just for the snacks.
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